


The Second Worst Birthday Ever

by tonystarkssnipples



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fourth of July, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, angst then fluff, birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 11:00:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1896552
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonystarkssnipples/pseuds/tonystarkssnipples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve has been in a slump, so Tony decides a surprise birthday is in store. However, when that doesn't work he decides to take Steve on an adventure, just the two of them. They take a trip down Steve's memory lane, but things aren't as pleasant now as they used to be.</p><p>Happy Birthday Steve!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Second Worst Birthday Ever

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of two prompts I got, one asking for an angsty birthday fic and one asking for Steve and Tony talking about their parents.
> 
> Happy 96th big guy.

“Steve? Sweetheart?” Tony walked cautiously into his boyfriend’s room. The past few days, Steve had been distant. He’d give a one word response if possible. He made himself scarce. He hadn’t even been spending time in the gym, instead hiding in his room. Tony asked about it, Steve didn’t even lie with an “okay”, but straight up ignored him.

Tony missed his boyfriend.

“Not tonight, Tony,” Steve mumbled, rolling over under the covers he had pulled up his ears despite the summer heat.

Tony continued into the room and sat on the bed near Steve’s head. “I have to want sex to visit you?” Steve peeked his head out from under the blankets. Tony resisted the urge to run his fingers through his hair. Steve looked a mess, more tired than Tony had ever seen him. “What’s wrong, baby?”

Steve just shook his head and pulled the covers back over. “I want to be alone, Tony,” he grumbled. Tony would be lying if he said that didn’t hurt.

He placed his hand on the lump that was Steve’s head. “If you want to talk, I’ll listen, okay? I love you.”

“Love you too,” Steve’s voice came through the down comforter.

Tony waited a moment longer in hopes that Steve would change his mind and come out of his cocoon and tell Tony _what the hell was wrong_. Tony was disappointed but not surprised when Steve stayed hidden. He patted Steve’s “head” one more time before leaving without a word.

* * *

“A party?” Natasha asked.

“I’m not the only one that’s noticed he’s been in a slump, right?”

“No, but Stark, Steve’s not really a big party type of guy.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “I _know_ that. But it’s his birthday. And it won’t be a _big_ party.”

“Do you even know how to throw a party that’s not a big party?”

Tony crossed his arms. “You’ll see. I’ll throw the best damn not big birthday party in the history of not big birthday parties.”

* * *

“Is a balloon house too much?” Tony asked

“You’re asking me if a bouncy house for a low key 26 year old’s birthday party is too much?” Pepper asked.

“I can tell by your tone that the answer is that it’s too much, but everyone has fun in a bouncy house. And we can have se—”

“STOP!” Pepper shouted. “Another thing you don’t do is talk about having sex with your current partner with your ex.” They were still close friends, and Tony would always love her, but he had never loved her in the way that was needed for a romantic relationship to work. “Listen, Tony…”

“No,” Tony whined. “You’re using your ‘Tony is an idiot’ voice and I hate that voice.”

Pepper did that _Tony, I’ve been putting up with your bullshit for too long but I love you so I’ll continue_ sigh (Steve was developing strangely similar one). “I’m coming over and I’m going to help you plan this party.”

* * *

“Steve?” Tony cautiously walked into Steve’s room, hoping not to scare him away. The party was downstairs, everything set up and ready. The only thing missing was the guest of honor. “Honey, can you come downstairs?”

“No.”

Tony wasn’t surprised to find Steve in bed. It was three thirty in the afternoon, but he hadn’t done much else but this in weeks. Tony crossed the room, pulled back the covers, and slithered under the them next to Steve. Steve covered his face with the blanket. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

“I need you to go away, Tony.”

“Goddammit Steve!” Tony shouted, ripping the covers back. He had been fully prepared to yell at the blond, but when he saw puffy eyes and tear streaks, everything he was about to say disappeared. “What happened?” he whispered.

Steve sniffled. “I miss them,” he whispered. “All of them.”

Tony felt himself crumble. He used his thumb to wipe a tear from Steve’s cheek. “I threw you a party. I thought it would get you out of this funk.”

“Thanks, but…”

“And I realize now that it’s not what you need. So how about we grab the cake and get out of here. I have an idea.”

* * *

“Where are we going, Tony?”

“Not _everyone_ is where we’re headed, but I think we have a good amount.”

“Tony—”

Tony just waved his hand to shush Steve, then pulled through the iron gate.

“Oh,” Steve said. “Tony.”

Tony drove around, turning expertly, until they were in the very back of the cemetery. He got out of the car and started walking, knowing Steve would follow. Sure enough, he heard the door open and close, then the sound of Steve running towards him. Tony locked the car, but didn’t look back.

“So, first on the list. Mom and dad.” Tony threw himself on the ground, sitting in front of the tiny, crumbling gravestone. He put the cake box between he and Steve and took an already cut piece. “Tell me about them.”

“Well, my mom was a nurse—”

“C’mon, sweetheart. I know the basics. Tell me about _her_.”

“She was blonde, like me. Blue eyes, too. She was the kindest person in the world. I knew we had it hard, because it was the depression and everything, but she worked so hard to make it like it wasn’t. She’d save up money every year and get a tiny little Christmas tree, and I’d get a clementine, a pair of socks, and two dollars. That doesn’t sound like much, but it was such a treat.”

Tony smiled. It was obvious how happy this was making Steve, so, in turn, Tony felt happier than he had in a long time. “What did you used to do for your birthday?”

“ _Well_ ,” Steve started and Tony could tell this was going to be good. “When I was younger, she’d bake a cake and we’d eat that. Bucky’d come over and stuff. No presents or anything. Then, when I was eight or nine, we started going to the fireworks in the city.” Steve chuckled. “We’d sneak onto the subway.”

“We can still make the fireworks, if you want. I’ll even ride the subway for you. It’ll be fun. None of my usual grandeur.”

“Tony—”

“No, I’m serious! We’ll go to your old neighborhood in Brooklyn, I’ll park the car, we’ll take the train into the city. Do it just like the old days. The really old days. The only difference is we’ll, you know, pay.”

“You don’t have to—”

“Steve,” Tony cut him off. “I love you and I want to. Not just for you, but I think it sounds fun. You know you want to do it. And honestly, what else are we going to do?”

* * *

They found the least sketchy parking garage in Steve’s old neighborhood and paid the worker $1,000 not for Ferris Bueller the thing. He laughed at that and wished Steve a happy birthday.

The subway station was as seedy as Steve remembered and Tony joked that it probably hadn’t had any maintenance since 1943. Steve threw his arm around him and kissed his temple. Tony bumped his hip against Steve’s.

“You’re a bit bigger than the last time you did this, aren’t you?”

“A little.”

When they got into the city, the crowd was so enormous, Steve’s jaw dropped. It had always been busy, but it was never like _this_. “Tony.”

“Hello all!” Tony shouted and Steve bowed his head. “We have a birthday boy here and he is in great need of a good view for tonight. I, his loving boyfriend, will need to be by his side. So, if you will please part the way.” Everyone just looked at him, unblinking. “Aw, come on! Can’t Captain America celebrate his 96th birthday in style?” That got everyone to move.

When they got to the water front (after a few repeat performances of Tony’s speech), Steve pulled Tony to him, squishing him into his chest. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I love you so much.”

“I love you, too, big guy.”

They only had to wait about a half hour before the fireworks started. Tony’s back was to Steve, the taller man enveloping him, his chin resting on Tony’s head. After the first explosion of color, Tony felt Steve go stiff in his arms. As they continued, Steve’s breaths got more shallow until Tony felt him starting to keel over.

“Steve?” he asked, turning around. “Steve!”

Steve was on the ground, hands over his ears, breathing heavily. He started shouted and rocking back and forth. Tony was at a loss, he could barely work through his own panic attacks, let alone someone else’s.

“Steve, Steve, it’s me,” Tony started, putting his hands on Steve’s shoulders.

“Bucky?” Steve squeaked out, looking at Tony.

“No honey. No it’s Tony.” Steve made a pained face and started rocking back and forth. “Stay with me sweetheart, okay? Just calm down. Shh, shh.”

“No!” Steve cried out and let himself fall limp on the ground, sobbing. “Make it stop!” he screamed. The noise of the fireworks had originally drowned out the conversation, but Steve was now screaming bloody murder and heads were turning. Tony didn’t give a rat’s ass.

“Babe, come back, okay? Please come back to me. We’re in New York City, okay? The year is 2014. It’s the 4th of July and we’re in Manhattan watching the fireworks. I am your boyfriend.”

“No,” Steve whimpered and curled in on himself.

Tony heard someone shouting at someone else to call an ambulance. Tony knew that it would do no good, but he couldn’t very well say that out load. If calling an ambulance would be these people’s minds at ease, then by all means they should call an ambulance.

Ignoring the dirt and grime of the New York City street, he got down on the ground and curled himself around Steve, pulling him close. “It’s okay baby, it’s okay. It’s just fireworks. You’re going to be okay, I promise. We’re gonna go home and put you in bed and then I’m going to hold you until you fall asleep, okay.” Steve didn’t speak. “Nod your head if you understand.” Steve nodded meekly. “It’s gonna be over soon, I promise.”

“Actually sir, the fireworks run for nearly an hour.”

Tony kicked the bystander in the shin because, really, what the hell? Steve had started whimpering again, whether due to the lack of Tony holding him or the fact that it seemed as if this wouldn’t be ending for awhile was unclear.

The ambulance came and they put Steve on a stretcher and brought him inside, hoping the car would drown out the worst of the explosions. They asked if Tony wanted to come, but once Steve was out of his arms, the weight of what happened hit him. He had brought Steve here. He’d _insisted_. Tony realized he’d have to take the subway back to Brooklyn to get his car.

“Can you just take him to Avengers Tower?” Tony asked.

“No, I’m sorry. We’d have to take him to the hospital.”

Tony ran a hand through his hair. “Okay. I’ll come by to pick him up as soon as I can.”

* * *

The streets were crowded, the subway was late, the valet guy gave him shit, and traffic was horrendous. By the time he got back to the hospital it was nearly three in the morning.

“He’s unconscious,” the doctor informed as she led Tony to Steve’s room. “He’s been asking for you.”

“Okay,” Tony nodded. She opened the door for him, but didn’t follow him into the room. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He sat by Steve’s bed, Steve’s hand in his, and started to nod off. He was brought back to consciousness by Steve’s voice.

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered.

“For what?”  
“Having a panic attack. That was stupid.”

“You can’t control when you have a panic attack. Can you just… do me a favor? Can you wait until we get home to break up with me?”

Steve looked shocked. “Why would I break up with you?”

“Because I gave you the shittiest birthday _ever._ ”

“No you didn’t.”

Tony looked around the room. “You’re in the hospital, Steve.”

“On my twenty-third I took a bullet,” Steve gave a weak smile. “So this is the second worst birthday I’ve had.”

“Oh, well if that’s the case—” Tony kissed each of his knuckles. “Thank you.”

“For what?”  
“For not lying to me. For not saying that this wasn’t awful. And thank you for not breaking up with me.”

Steve sighed. “Look, we both suffer from PTSD and that’s okay, we deal with it. Do you remember the bath incident?”

“I’d rather not,” Tony grumbled, remembering the time had planned to have sexy time with Steve in the bath tub but ended up having a panic attack when he head unexpectedly dipped below the water.

“When that was over, did you want to break up with me?”

“No, but I came back in a heap of blankets, wrapped in your arms. You came back in a hospital, alone.”

“I knew you were coming,” Steve explained. “Because I know you love me.”

“I was just trying to give you a happy birthday, but everything I did led it from bad to worse. First the party—”

“Please just shut up and get in this damn bed.”

Tony smiled and crawled in next to Steve. The larger man wrapped his arms tightly around Tony and the two nodded off to sleep with the lullaby of the heart monitor beeping steadily.


End file.
